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I have had some really weird dreams lately. And Mikki and Ritter were in both of them. I had the first dream the night before last. The second one I had last night. Mikki, Ritter, and I are in high school and school goes like normal; it is after school that is not at all normal. School ends and I am leaving campus when I notice that Mikki is waiting for the bus and I walk up to her and ask if I can take her home and she says, "Heck yes". However she wants to play the bass guitar that is on the front lawn of the school and she is playing it really well. When all of a sudden golf size meteors start falling from the sky and Ritter suggests that we run inside the school. After the meteors fall we all decide to get home immediately. So Mikki and I get into my truck and start driving down the road when we see this huge fiery ball coming towards us. It hits and we are in the air in the truck. We both are praying to God like crazy when the truck lands on the ground. Surprisingly we did not die. We are stunned trying to figure out what happened. I tell Mikki that we need to get out of the fiery hole and she just disappears in front my eyes. My head is like freaking out nonetheless I start walking out of the hole when I see these alien looking creatures gathering up the survivors and putting then in concentration camps. I see one of their flying mechanisms and I start flying home because the only thing that has been in my head is if I just get home everything will be ok. I am flying and I start being chased by the aliens and then I wake up. Mikki, Ritter, Savannah, Whitney and a bunch of girls I do not know, and I of course are having a party that I organized. When one of the girls I do not know start handing all of us money and says, "You girls need to give this money to some guy to have him eat you out". And then out of no where Kyle Fusco (ugh) appears out of nowhere. He looks at me and tells me he has always loved me and blah, blah, blah. He then tells me that he will eat me out for free. I of course wake up then and look at Aaron sleeping beside me thanking my lucky stars. Weird huh. Also, I was thinking about Mikki, Ritter, and I maybe writing a novel together. How does that sound. We could email each other paragraphs of a novel and edit it and put it together for a novel. Of course we will have to talk to each other about it will be about so that it is not to random. Who knows, we might write the next Harry Potter or something and become millionaires.
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Right now I am watching this really lame movie called "Meteor". I also just got finished putting Judebug to sleep. He is so cute. Why is it that when there is a crises in movies people start stealing things? I do not understand it. This morning in Jude's Bible class was so funny. Jude started touching the little girl beside him, Kalin, shoulder and she was like stop touching me. It was cute he is already hitting and missing at three months. She is like seven months I believe. So he is into the older girls. My nose itches, are one of you guys talking about me? I planted flowers yesterday and weeded the front yard and dug up a small tree. It was fun, I love working outside. Jude has been fussy today though. He is teething really bad and I had to put Orajel on his gums. By the way they feel I think he is going to get a whole bunch of teeth in at the same time. I made him homemade cereal today. It was messy but healthy for him. It is cheaper too. I am really tired. Taking care of a baby is hard work but somebody's got to do it, might as well be me.
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Hello all of my friends I am back writing again and I am happy about it. I need to let all of my emotions go and I will let them. Beware all that read my posts because there are going to be real issues that most will probably sound like I am depressed. And that is because I have been depressed for a while now. I am terrified that Aaron and I wont be able to support our son. I want to finish school so bad and start my career so we can move in our own place and be a nice little family. I have no idea what Aaron is doing with his future. He just sits at his computer all day and does not even try to go look for a job. I think he wants to go to Val-Tech to be an electrician but I am not sure. He has not tried to enroll or anything. I need some comfort because I am not doing well mentally. I am having to take of Jude all day and I cant even buy him anything. I do not know if I can even get him Christmas presents. I am really chilly right now. I just want to scream sometimes and hit something. I need to start exercising again, it takes a lot of my stress away. I really want school to start so I can get away and get it over and done with. I am so tired; I am going to go to bed now. Good night all.
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I am in Valdosta now roaming between places to stay. I have stayed at my boyfriends house most of the time. I started my job at Books A Millian and it is swicked. I organized the book shelves for about four hours and I only had to be there six. I am going to love this job. While at my boyfriends house a chauaua appeared in their kitchen. She came through the doggie door. I thought that was pretty cool. Well, I have basically been the one that has taken care of her. I gave her a bath and she slept with me. We are putting fliers around the neighborhood to see if we can find the owner. I have gotten attached to her. She is the best chauaua I have ever seen, she has not even barked yet. Well, my fans I know that I have not written in a while but do not fret I came back.
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Sorry I have not written in a while, I have not been online. I went yesterday to feel out my application for an apartment and had to give $150. I did not want to give it up though I had to. I can not wait to move into it. It was a hectic day yesterday and I was getting angry. I started cussing up a storm because they wanted everything to be perfect. I had to get my money order fixed because I put the $150 on one money order but they wanted two money orders, one with $50 and the other with $100. It was way too annoying I hope it is not going to be like this all the time. I am also excited at the fact that this Friday is my last day babysitting. YAY! I have a job at Books A Million and I can not wait to start working. I also can not wait to be closer to Aaron. My friends need to hurry up and come back though because I do not want to miss them so they just need to follow me. When I graduate from Valdosta, Aaron and I are moving to Texas. That is where most of his family is and it will be different for me and I can not wait to get away from Georgia. I believe that it will be fun.
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I am so happy. Tuesday Books A Million called me wanting an interview. I went yesterday and waited for like thirty minutes and then the guy came and talked to me asking me all sort of questions. A couple were if you could have any super power what would it be? I said mind- reading however I do not think he liked that answer very much. Another one was what books do you read and why do you read them? Anyways he said that he is doing a background check on me and if that turns out good then I have a job. Therefore, I have a job. I am so happy about it. Not only did I get a job but Dur got a raise. I am so happy for him too. My birthday is tomorrow and I can not wait I will be 20. Of course like always my fans I will like some advice because I need all that I can get. Well, I shall talk to you later.
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Last night was a bad night. My parents started arguing about the bills and then it made me feel like that I was destined to pay their bills so they won't get their house taking away from them. I just do not know what to do. I can not pay their bills and afford college too. All of the stress is making me not want to eat. I do not even feel hungry. Hey, since I am wanting to lose weight I guess I could do that then. When I woke up and got to work I passed out on the couch and the kids had to wake me up. I want to finish college and do something with myself. I am also cold all the time too. It is weird, I am in south Georgia in July and I am freezing. Caffeine makes my friend happy. Brandy has always gotten people to babysit them. Like Whitney, Ladonna, Kayla and me. I am mentally depressed. Yesterday, I went and got my $50 medicine for my epilepsy and Walgreens gave me a check for $25 that I could use to buy anything in the store except for prescriptions. I got me a blender, 10 pairs of socks, flip-flops, and a pack of gum. I thought it was pretty good. Well, my friend wants me to read her live journal and comment about it so I have to leave you my fans and go do that.
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I can not believe it. This boy went to Six Flags with his church group. He was on one of the rides and his hat fell off, so the boy climbed two fences that said DO NOT PASS on them and as he was about to grab his hat the ride came and decapitated him. That put chills down my back when my mom told me. It was one the news last night. Why can't people learn to obey the rules and read signs. I mean heres this kid who has a whole future ahead of him and just because of his hat he loses his life. It makes me think about my life and how am I living it so that when I die I will not regret it. I want to get married to Aaron and have children before I die. I want to be able to raise them and to see my grandchildren. What are your thoughts about this, my fans. Let me know how you feel. Well, I am tired so I am leaving. Do not fret though I will be back.
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I am sitting here beside my sweetheart in a warehouse while him and his friends finally play Warcraft III. It is fun because I just got finished playing Warhammer and to tell you the truth I am getting better at. I am finally in Valdosta, tragically not to stay. I have a week before I come back. Guys are just as bad as girls if not worse. It took them thirty minutes to decide what game to play. I am here applying for jobs so if anyone knows of any jobs that is hiring in Valdosta let me know. This is the latest I have stayed up since the summer started. Sad life isn't it? I normally wake up at 6:00 am so I need to go to bed for my eight hours. I do not know why the spell check says that Valdosta is spelled wrong. I think I should change my userpic soon because I have had it on Claymore for a while. Well, my fans I have ran out of topics to write about. It is way to late for my brain to work right now. I spelled write right woot.
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It is tragic my truck would not crank yesterday and my Dur cannot figure out what is wrong. He is taking it to a specialist in Ford, considering he is a mecanic, a good one, he is all flustered that he cannot figure it out. Dur is my step-dad by-the-way but I think of him as a Dad, I just call him Dur because it is a short for his name and it sounds better than dad to me. It is sad because Friday I want to go to Valdosta to see my knight in shining armor and to apply for jobs. I am going back to Valdosta July 5th to stay and I can not wait. One of my little kids are awake and she is going to start annoying me at any second now. She is 11 years old and she acts worse than the 3 year old I keep. Well, my fans I must go now. Feel free to comment me and I will answer. |
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Go figure that I would mess up spelling my first day back writing on this journal. I meant to say write for all of you people that missed it. I need help with ideas about romantic ideas to do with my boyfriend that does not require money. I am going back to Valdosta July the 5th and I am going to be trying to work a lot however I would like to do things with the love of my life and I do not need to spend money because I am poor. I was wondering if my fans had any ideas. I also need ideas on how I can live next semester. I am going to have to work a lot to be able to afford my apartment nonetheless I need to make sure I make a 3.0 this semester because I am on Academic Probation. Uggg. I do not like it either. If anyone has any ideas I am all ears. I am also still looking for free guitar lessons or cheap guitar lessons. Well I shall go now. Do not miss me too much my fans.
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It is wonderful that I am back because I have had a lot of ideas to wright about. I have short, red hair now and it is totally making me look like a punk rock star. I have the hair cut, the clothes, now all I need to do is learn how to play the Squire Strat that is underneath my bed. Would anyone like to give me lessons for free. That would be great if someone would. What is the appropriate price for lessons. The only lessons I have ever gotten were for free nonetheless I knew how to read sheet music and he just did his playing by ear and I could not get the grasp. I love to read music and play not guess and go for it. He is a good guitar player nonetheless it was not my way of doing it. Any ideas I would love. Hey, if I do know how to play then you might see me perform with Fall Out Boy sometime. LOL. My hair does sort of look like Pete's hair. I cannot believe he married Ashlee Simpson. What a waste with a hot guy like him. Patrick is adorable though. I have the love of my life dating me though and that is perfect for me. His name is Aaron and I can not get enough of him. I am already planning out the wedding and I cannot wait to get the ring. Well, I will talk to you later. Goodbye my fans.
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I am sorry to say that I will not be posting many journals lately. I am being serious about the book I am writing so I am going to be taking a lot of time on my book. That is my career so I am sorry to say that is what I am going to be doing. I will post as often as I can, however I do not think that it will be a lot. I love all of you that read my journals. Right now I have to break up a dog fight.
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Last night was so awesome. I went to a revival at my sister's church and a Prophetess was there. The Holy Spirit was so strong. I started speaking in tongues again and I started laughing again. I felt so peaceful I still feel peaceful. I really do not know what else to say but awesome. I am going to live differently like I should have been all along. I do not at all plan on dating anyone. Just put God first. I have done wrong, however God has forgiven me. He loves me and will never forsake me. No matter how much I forsake him. Tonight I am going to visit a church that my cousin says is awesome. I am trying to find a church as close as possible to my apartment. This is thirty minutes away, however it is a lot than a hour away. I trust my cousin, however I trust God more. I am just waiting for his instructions. I believe he wants me to go to that church tonight, because last night he was pulling at my heart to ask if I could go to it. So I am going to listen to him and go. I am going to listen to him all the time.
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This is a little bit better one, however I can still do better. I wrote these poems in like 2 minutes and I did not proofread. A prayer that would make even a giant cry The sad words that came from the prayer Caught my ears so strong The voice that spoke this prayer Was so soft that I could barely hear it However I did hear this sad prayer That caught my ears so strong The person that said this prayer Was no one except my future mate And now I wish to not be his mate because of the prayer That caught my ears so strong The lips that quoted this prayer I wanted to kiss, however he wanted to leave He wanted to leave for war in this prayer That caught my ears so strong I broke down in tears at the sound of the prayer As I asked why, why now I thought you loved me until this prayer The prayer that caught my ears so strong Written by: AJ Noles
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The world, how can it turn its back on its creator? The creator that built it with care With beauty and strength Built to stand and not be moved However, his creation turned its back. It cursed him and crucified him It turned to the evil that is destroying it It does not stand now, it will fail The light has been covered with darkness The good covered with sin Popularity grew, fake beauty grew Trees lost their beauty for models Just a matter of time before the creator destroys his creation. Takes back what is his Brings fire to cover the darkness The haunting darkness that smothers truth, faith, and mostly love However, the creator sent the creation hope He sent a way to get back to the light He sent his own son as the gateway His love is stronger then the hate of his creation Go towards the light Be with the creator Live in perfect peace and harmony Let the world be back to its original beauty Written by: AJ Noles
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Yesterday the kids, their mom, and I went to Wakulla Springs. It was so fun. That water was freezing. I could barely move at first, however I got better. We went on the river ride and we saw like 13 allegators and a mannatee. I was more excited about the mannatee than anything else. I am trying not to worry about something right now, however it is not leaving my head, I am trying to leave it up to God. I have been so disobedient lately. I deliberatly did something God told me not to. And that might have messed my life up. I need a shoulder to express my feelings on. I have to go feed my two year old waffles now.
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I told you that I would wright back. Woah! This color is hard to read. Oh well, so I am acually bored. I wish that tomorrow will just hurry up and get here. Or at least 6:00pm. I did not realize how hard it was to get these children to read, until I started babysitting them. When I was a kid I read 8 books a week. And these you have to force to read one book a month. They sit there and argue with each other so I yell at them. They then start crying and carrying on. The 2 year-old listens better than the 7 and 10 year-olds. It is not cool. Do you like being average? I do not.
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My sister is getting married Saturday and my mom is freaking out. My sister left most of the work for my mom. My parents who are having trouble with their bills, are also having to pay for the majority of the stuff. This is my sister's second wedding, she needs to help pay for stuff. I can not wait for this wedding to be over with. Sunday, me and Justin will be together for 8 months. Is that not awesome. I am getting out of God's will. I do not mean to however I am. I need not pray or read my Bible last night. I need to bring myself back to the will of God. I am cold right now and I am a little tired. So I am going to write later and get under a blanket.
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tired
calm
stressed
depressed
contemplative
artistic
busy
annoyed